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Four months on from our separation and I am at peace.  In fact, I found peace some time ago but didn't fully recognise it until I hit publish on my post "Three Months On".  Then, just like the cliched lightning bolt, it hit me: I am happy.  In fact, I am happier than I have been in a long time.  Perhaps the happiest I have ever been.  Certainly, I still feel down from time to time - we all do - none of us is immune to illness and exhaustion.  But I bounce back quickly and those dark days of despair are nothing more than a distant, fading memory.

The greatest gift of my solitude and subsequently the people I have met since being on my own, has been finding myself.  I love the person that I am today and I no longer feel the need to suppress my true self.  Without a doubt I will continue to learn about myself - especially as I expand my horizons - but here's what I've learned thus far:

One Month On:

  1. Living without a partner is less lonely than living with an absent partner

  2. No matter how much of a drag dishes are, I still prefer to do them myself

  3. I can kill cockroaches with nothing more than a tissue separating my hand from the pest

  4. Ditto to daddy-long-legs (I am yet to encounter any REALLY scary spiders)

  5. Picking up takeaways is less convenient than cooking

  6. In the absence of grocery supplies, picking up takeaways is STILL less convenient than a trip to the supermarket

  7. I am quite capable of putting petrol in my car

  8. Things that go bump in the night are highly unlikely to be sinister

  9. There are just two things I miss about living with a partner - the first is having someone to take out the rubbish

  10. The second is intimacy.

Two Months On:

  1. Living without a partner is less lonely than living with an absent partner

  2. Once in a while it would be nice to have someone else do the dishes

  3. Birds are paralysed by fear and are very easy to pick up and carry outside

  4. Rosie isn't the smartest of cats

  5. You can find the most purest of friends in the least likeliest of people

  6. Open and honest communication at all times is a must

  7. Petrol is expensive

  8. Separation can be good for your health - I have suffered noticeably fewer migraines and have lost 5kg

  9. Taking out the rubbish isn't that much of a chore - even in the rain

  10. Sincere, powerful, all-engulfing, nourishing, and caring hugs are delicious.

Three Months On:

  1. Living without a partner is less lonely than living with an absent partner

  2. It takes less energy to just do the dishes than it takes to complain about them as you still end up having to do the mundane job

  3. Preying Mantis spend considerably less time praying then they do tormenting pets and children

  4. Cat fur does not camouflage well on polished wooden floors

  5. You never stop learning from the people around you

  6. Open and honest communication at all times makes for the most interesting conversations

  7. Stepping outside of your comfort zones is incredibly exciting and satisfying

  8. Separation IS good for your health: fewer migraines, blood pressure and cholesterol both back to normal, and I have now lost 8kg and counting

  9. You can never have too much of a good thing

  10. Once you find peace with the present, you no longer feel concern for the future.

Four Months On:

  1. Your partner (or absence there of) does not define you

  2. Maintaining a clean and tidy kitchen all on your own is immensly satisfying

  3. Spiders should be admired for their perseverence in spinning webs

  4. Houses with polished wooden floors and no carpet are cold

  5. You never stop learning from the people around you

  6. Specialists are human - just like the rest of us - and not to be feared

  7. I am stronger than I have ever imagined myself to be

  8. Walking in the rain is soul refreshing

  9. Never settle for less than what you deserve

  10. Smiles - like happiness - are infectious.

 

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