Four months on from our separation and I am at peace. In fact, I found peace some time ago but didn't fully recognise it until I hit publish on my post "Three Months On". Then, just like the cliched lightning bolt, it hit me: I am happy. In fact, I am happier than I have been in a long time. Perhaps the happiest I have ever been. Certainly, I still feel down from time to time - we all do - none of us is immune to illness and exhaustion. But I bounce back quickly and those dark days of despair are nothing more than a distant, fading memory.
The greatest gift of my solitude and subsequently the people I have met since being on my own, has been finding myself. I love the person that I am today and I no longer feel the need to suppress my true self. Without a doubt I will continue to learn about myself - especially as I expand my horizons - but here's what I've learned thus far:
One Month On:
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Living without a partner is less lonely than living with an absent partner
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No matter how much of a drag dishes are, I still prefer to do them myself
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I can kill cockroaches with nothing more than a tissue separating my hand from the pest
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Ditto to daddy-long-legs (I am yet to encounter any REALLY scary spiders)
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Picking up takeaways is less convenient than cooking
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In the absence of grocery supplies, picking up takeaways is STILL less convenient than a trip to the supermarket
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I am quite capable of putting petrol in my car
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Things that go bump in the night are highly unlikely to be sinister
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There are just two things I miss about living with a partner - the first is having someone to take out the rubbish
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The second is intimacy.
Two Months On:
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Living without a partner is less lonely than living with an absent partner
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Once in a while it would be nice to have someone else do the dishes
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Birds are paralysed by fear and are very easy to pick up and carry outside
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Rosie isn't the smartest of cats
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You can find the most purest of friends in the least likeliest of people
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Open and honest communication at all times is a must
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Petrol is expensive
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Separation can be good for your health - I have suffered noticeably fewer migraines and have lost 5kg
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Taking out the rubbish isn't that much of a chore - even in the rain
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Sincere, powerful, all-engulfing, nourishing, and caring hugs are delicious.
Three Months On:
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Living without a partner is less lonely than living with an absent partner
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It takes less energy to just do the dishes than it takes to complain about them as you still end up having to do the mundane job
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Preying Mantis spend considerably less time praying then they do tormenting pets and children
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Cat fur does not camouflage well on polished wooden floors
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You never stop learning from the people around you
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Open and honest communication at all times makes for the most interesting conversations
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Stepping outside of your comfort zones is incredibly exciting and satisfying
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Separation IS good for your health: fewer migraines, blood pressure and cholesterol both back to normal, and I have now lost 8kg and counting
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You can never have too much of a good thing
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Once you find peace with the present, you no longer feel concern for the future.
Four Months On:
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Your partner (or absence there of) does not define you
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Maintaining a clean and tidy kitchen all on your own is immensly satisfying
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Spiders should be admired for their perseverence in spinning webs
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Houses with polished wooden floors and no carpet are cold
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You never stop learning from the people around you
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Specialists are human - just like the rest of us - and not to be feared
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I am stronger than I have ever imagined myself to be
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Walking in the rain is soul refreshing
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Never settle for less than what you deserve
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Smiles - like happiness - are infectious.
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