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He left our family because he wanted to be on his own - to be free of commitments, to have more time alone, so that he can find himself.  His new reality is possibly more commitments and less time on his own as he now has full responsibility of our daughter for the entire duration of the weekend.

If this isn't karma in action, I don't know what is.

But why punish me in the process?  Why throw me - the very person who has been struggling for years with feelings of loneliness due to lack of companionship - further into the depths of solitude??  Have I not endured enough?

I understand that it is important for me to be on my own - so that I have time to grieve, time to grow, and time to re-discover myself.  But I still maintain the fact that I have already spent a long time grieving - months, years in fact.  During that time I have spent more time alone than I have with a companion.  I have soul-searched, I have wept, I have laughed, and I have seethed in anger.  But moreover, I have grown from stength to strength.  I have a beautiful soul and according to some, I'm even physically attractive.

So for now, I shall embrace this enforced solitude which surrounds me and will learn to enjoy it's beautiful silence.  I am confident that with an open heart and mind, I will connect with my soul mate when the time is right and will appreciate the companionship even more for having had this experience. 

 

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